For sale

Are any of you in the market for a dude ranch? If so, I happened to notice that the Cedar Canyon Lodge is for sale. This could be the place to make your cowboy dreams come true, for the low, low price of only $3.5 million. (At least, I believe that's the price they intend to ask -- editors, students and other picky types will note the typo on the Web site.)

So, you ask, why did the impending sale of a distant hotel property in, believe me, Middle-of-Nowhere, Okla., ever come to my attention? It's because this is the place where, during my Highway 64 project, my mom and I stopped to recover from a truly eeevil case of food poisoning. It's really a charming place, even if you're immobile and dependent on Gatorade and saltines. I did manage to tour the cool caverns that are nearby. I am unable, however, to confirm the tenderness and juiciness of the steaks.

Anyway, whoever owns it, I will harbor fond memories of the Cedar Canyon Lodge anytime I get nostalgic for the Wild West ... and anytime someone mentions salmonella poisoning. A bizarre combination, to be sure, but one of those unique experiences that make me who I am.

Interactive special: Visit the photo of the "Native American Room" and you will notice a print of a cowgirl on the wall. This cowgirl took on the status of a deity to me. Unable to move for hours, I stared at her, admired her sassy boots, wondered what her eyes look like under that mysterious hat -- basically prayed to her for the chance to survive food poisoning and ever enjoy food again. Looks like I made it.